America's Got Talent

America's Got Talent

It seems there is alot of great talent on AGT this season. I love watching and seeing the people put themselves out there and show America the hidden talent that would normally get unnoticed. I mean there is young guy who was disowned by his family just because he was gay and that he wanted to be a singer. I think he was brave to be able to show the world and be accepted for himself after he preformed his song. I loved it when Howie Mandel told Johnathan " that America and everyone in the audience was now  his family and welcome home"

I find AGT's a great place to see all this surprising talents such as singer's with voices that you would not expect when you look at them. There are people who are daring and unusual in their acts. i mean there is even this year an escape artist who is a mother who had put her talent on hold in order to have a family and her husband stands behind her that is  awesome. i mean ther was even a couple so far where the girlfriend/wife who tricked their partners into preforming and show the world their talent that is so sweet. I find America's Got Talent is inspirational and has given so many people over the years great opportunity to share their talents. I know there are some talents which are really unusual and really bad but got to give them props for being brave enough to share their unusual talents with the world. I can not wait to see what else they are gonna have this year.I just wish they would come to like Maine and audition some people from up here and see what we in Maine have to offer for talent. I do recommend watching AGT it is so wonderful to share the tears and the joy when the acts get to go further on the competition. Good Luck everyone who is on this show. I am glad there is a show like this for the everyday people to share themselves with the world. The judges this year are awesome and I am happy they now have four judges and that it is fair with 2 guys and 2 girls...I can't wait til next week.

La Kermesse Franco-american festival in biddeford,maine

LA KERMESSE FETSIVAL

these videos show a preview of what our hometown is like on one week a year in the summer. It lasts about 5 days and it is full of community of happiness and joy as the community comes together. I loved it this year even though I only went one day I seen pictures friends have posted of the parade and it looks similar o when I would march in it myself when I was younger.The community looks forward to it every year because it celebrates french-American but they also include other culture too.. I love and can not wait til next year. I love seeing the children's faces when they are watching the fireworks. I love fireworks but they make me jump due to the unexpected boom of the firework as it goes off. I love the colors and how they appear in the sky. I think the fireworks are amazing. I love the fried dough and i wait every year to have one from there. Its more special like a treat you allow yourself. I always get one thing to remember the good memories i had from he festival. I hope you enjoy watching the festival from our little town.Have a great summer everyone.

My Heart

MY HEART

I am feeling like I am floating on air because I feel like I am finally being true to myself. I found someone who helps me realize that sometimes your life is like a puzzle sometimes there is a piece of your puzzle is missing and you feel incomplete when you are bisexual. I have always felt incomplete and now I met a woman who has made feel like me again it is almost like waking up from coma after many years of hiding who I really am. I mean the way I have explained it to my mom that I was . Her first question was "How can you love 2 people at the same time?" I replied to her "that there are things a man can give that a woman can't and there are things a woman can give me that a man can not." I took a big chance and placed a personal ad which I have never done before and looked for a woman for me even though I am married to a wonderful man. He is trying to understand (due o his  brain damage at birth makes it hard to understand at times.) that he can not give me everything to make me feel whole. He knew from the beginning that I was bisexual and he accepted me for me and which made me feel really good and is why I do love him. He had been the first one over twenty some odd years that have. It took me years to come out and admit I am bisexual and that I am comfortable with it.  After years of therapy I have learned acceptance of myself which is really important. I took a neurological test to test for learning disabilities come to find out that I actually suffer from a various disorders that make it hard to sometime function like most people. All I have to do now that I know what is not right and causing me challenges in my life is to learn to accept and learn how to function and improve my life so I can feel what most people call "NORMAL". I will never be normal but i will learn to accept to learn how to be.

I have been missing her everyday like the flowers miss the sun when it is raining. She runs through my mind like a horse running on a race track and then getting first place. I do feel like sleeping beauty being awakened finally after many years of a deep sleep. I know this is right and she makes me smile and feel full of luv and joy when I talk to her. She understands me and we just have so much in common and I wish the best for myself and I am gonna B positive no matter what happens happens. In my heart it finally feels whole and like it is beating a drum at a pow wow.

You need to follow your heart and listen to it do not question it just go with it. We all deserve to be whole and complete no matter what that means whether your gay,lesbian,bisexual or whatever your preference in your life is. NO SHOULD JUDGE YOU BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU LOVE OR THE WAY YOU LIVE   Be true to yourself and accept yourself because in the end you have to live with yourself no one can live your life for you. Funny saying "Don't worry, Be happy"

Taking care of yourself

two weeks ago at the beach walk with my children luke and tabitha

me at the drs office mondayJune 10th 2013

me on my walk for my appointments monday June 10th 2013

me holding cain june 11 2013visiting my cousin and her new addition Cain

 june 11 2013

Taking care of Yourself is hard when You are a Mother.

I know for me it is foreign in order to take care of myself first before everyone else. We all try to put ourselves first in order to be able to take care of the people we love. We all struggle with putting ourselves before our family and people we care about. If we can not take care of ourselves how can we take care of who we love? It is a question we do ask ourselves and something we know we were taught that we took care of everyone and put ourselves last as woman. When we were young we saw our mothers taking care of everyone except themselves. Well I have been learning if I can not take care of me how can I expect myself to take care of the ones I love. i do struggle with the guilt of not doing what I was brought up thinking was the way you should do it. I know with my health it is hard for me to be there all the time for the people I love and I beat myself up inside because I am not thinking of others first. I was asked yesterday  "what does guilty mean to me?" I replied to my caseworker I had no words but the feeling of being nauseated, dizzy, getting a migraine and feeling anger within myself. She told me that was the feeling of being anxious about the unknown of spending time with my mom and keeping my mouth shut and not interrupt her way of correcting my son because she knows best basically. I told my mom I wanted to go with them to visit relatives that lived in New Hampshire because I haven't seen them in so long. I wanted to spend time with atleast my son since my teenage daughter did not want to go. I had to allow myself to back out last night in order to take care of me. I was just not ready to do that kind of trip even though I said I wanted to go and I was gonna be at my mother's apartment ready to go today at 1 pm. I had to leave a brief message saying that I was not ready for that long of a trip yet and that I appreciated that she was helping me and she was gonna take me with them on that trip. See in all my mom stresses me out beyond belief and I end up really sick and can not even get out of bed for days. I also go into a deep depression from breaking a promise because when I give my word it is like me promising something and I do not break a promise unless I have a good reason. I feel in my head I feel guilty that I gave my word and because I needed to take care of me in order not to go through an episode of being sick after being away for a weekend with no possibility really to get away from here to reclaim my thoughts and emotions. We all got to learn that if we do not take care of ourselves in the end how can we be there for our children. We need to allow ourselves to be healthy or we won't be here and won't be able to be around for them or anyone for that matter. No one wants to really be around sick people when they can actually in all in all get better if they allow themselves to take care of themselves so they can live a strong healthy life. I am happy that I can live with myself when I can think for myself and not as my mom wants me to think. I am strong even when I am weak. I am going to use I am statements to empower myself .I do most of the time but sometimes it is hard to say I am statements so if it something I feel hard at first I say to myself I am going to atleast try it even if it hard. I can always try again.

here is a great saying I find encouraging:

“You try you fail. You try you fail, But the only real failure is when you stop trying." ---Haunted Mansion

*A Disney movie if you pay attention closely to the more positive messages in it an do not what everyone looks for the perverted things that manage to somehow slip in due to upset employees trying to get back at the for something or because they just want to be jerks and ruin things for others. Those people need to grow up and support positive messages Disney is trying to get across.*                                                                                                                                           we should try to pay attention to what they are saying in most positive way.

 

The power of love

                                                                  THE POWER OF LOVE                                                        

This video is powerful because LOVE is a powerful thing.It can HEAL a BROKEN HEART. It can make a family stronger. It is a peaceful feeling within all of us and all we have to tap into it . Then we can unleash something that could heal the pain in the world. everyone needs LOVE no matter their sex preferences in religion, partners in life,color their skin and their ways of life. There are really no people alike we are all special but we all need is LOVE. I believe love can make the world go round not money, not power, not gravity and I think LOVE  is what moves us around. We gave the same LOVE that we show the ones we LOVE then we could get alot out of this crazy life that we are in.
You need to ask yourself ,"Why can't we love each other and ourselves and our families the same? "
Can you answer that or is that something your mind won't allow you to be able to show or understand? WE ALL NEED LOVE TO GROW AND MAKE IT IN THUS WORLD.
However I have discovered by my life that in a family we need to make sure that we have a balance between love and discipline because someone can over coddle a child in order to protect them from hurt and abuse. I have done this in because I  married into a  controlling family where my father in law wanted to control our marriage and how our family was going to be and what  we were able to do. He could not separate home,work or being in The ELK'S. Me that is did not fit because I did not want to be told what to do when to do it. I went through that during my first marriage and in that one I was not able to have friends or  even see my family because he always thought i was cheating on him. I actually got kicked out of a state and sent to my mom because after my children were taken from me and my second husband because he left bruises on my son that were determined by an x-ray was painful at the time it had been done. I am telling you this because I think there is a lesson to be learned. But to get back my father in-law found a way to make up a story to get rid of me by having my second husband lie to the court and accuse me of threatening him with a knife and said I knew neighbor's who had guns. My friends and neighbor's weren't stupid enough to give me a gun and tell me they had guns. They would have tried to help u out in crisis because they all cared. Long story short I had 15 minutes to pack a bag and let my father in-law put me on a bus. (I tried for years to gain their love and acceptance..no luck) well the male cop asked me if I had money I told him no and so he gave me his last $20 in his wallet and told me not to tell my father in-law. I was not allowed to go to the shelter or to friends or even to the neighbors I had to go. I called my mom because I was being sent to her from Pennsylvania and she was in Maine. She got told the same thing I did and so I peacefully left and knew in my heart I had done nothing wrong. {I had the night before had a nervous breakdown in front of my husband after a meeting to improve our marriage when he said he only reason he married me was because of the children and that he did not love me.} Oh that hurt that night. I was so hurt I went and got to the station my father in law bought the ticket and he and my brother in law watched me get on the bus and made sure that I did not get off.( I felt like a prisoner and they were my guards) A sad when you think if you LOVE strong to make your family strong by sacrifice yourself in order to keep what you want in your life. But LOVE gets me through everyday and I can face everyday knowing though I do not have my children I see them and tell them and reassure them I love them and I want them.( They live with my mom due to me getting them out of foster care) As long as I have love in my heart I find the courage to keep loving people no matter what they are or who they are. Everyone needs love but a balance of discipline to so that way people can grow from the LOVE in life and try to make a difference in their own life by doing better. There are people who can't change themselves but we still need to be fair and love them still and show them right path of love and not hurt and pain or even hate. Like in baseball   3 strikes you are out well our creator is the pitcher and he is throwing the balls we have maybe 3 balls and 2 strikes in our lives as we grow but when we hit the ball and it is a home run then we have made it and maybe even won the game because in the end we don't want to hear the umpire utter the words you are out. We want to here him say SAFE. I hope I make a difference because I know personally I have had some balls and 2 strikes well I refuse to think I am gonna strike out . I am gonna hit the ball and it is gonna be out of here and in the end I will be successful in life as long as I love and not hate. SHARE YOUR LOVE EVEN IT IS BY SMILING AND SAYING "HI" AND SOMEONE RETURNS IT THEN THE WORLD FEELS LIKE A BRIGHTER PLACE.

B+ attitude

B+ Attitude is wonderful

       These quotes empower me and I find can make you feel being positive.Everyone is a child at heart we just forget how to return to that state of mind. We in this society could learn more by reconnecting with our inner child. It is still there just asleep waiting for us to wake it up. If we all acted like kids once in awhile we would be happier and less stressed out all the time.

If we did reconnect by watching some of the old cartoons or even watching Disney Channel or movies that are around. We could reconnect with the kid inside and feel like we can do anything like the children of today.I mean we all were children once and liked to have safe and positive fun. We forget and expect our children sometimes to grow up faster than they should. If we want to be positive then we need to set a good example and show our children how to be a kid and do it in a way no gets hurt. We need to discourage bullying because no one should be bullied and harassed. We try not to do that to each other so why would we want our children to copy what we do as grown ups. They only repeat what they see while they are growing up. So lets BE POSITIVE and show how love can be better than hate. WORLD>

we have the power to do it all we have to do is want it and we will see a change in people. There is more power in more than one. Our children deserve to be kids in a safe loving environment with out hate , judgement and abuse.Every child needs a balance of protection,love and discipline in order to be successful.

write a comment if you agree then lets stand together and show the love in everyone's heart

mental and physical health are connected

                             Mental and physical health are connected

                                                                    Here is a video explaining this and guided meditation:

 

Some people feel that mental and physical health are no where connected. but I beg to differ because of my own personal experience. I suffer from both physical and mental health issues. I find when I have a physical issue I sometimes feel depressed and when I am stressed or anxious it causes my physical pain to be worse. I hate when I am anxious or depressed and I hurt so much that I end up more depressed because I can not stop the pain.

 I suggest that finding ways to spiritually way of life such as meditating and exercising (ex. yoga, walking,or regular workout ) or even doing a hobby can help divert your emotions and pain by keeping your mind busy you do not have time to think about what is going on. Plus you feel more productive if you are doing something rather than sitting there and letting everything you feeling at the moment intensify. Why would you want to increase your feelings and your pain if you can find ways to beat it by natural means. I mean medications can only do so much we have to be willing to do the work. Together we can beat these things by supporting and encouraging a more natural way of healing our body and mind. When let our body's become toxic we tend to slow down and get sluggish and then we just feel worse.  I have found this out for myself because the physical stuff I suffer from is  Diabetes type 2, arthritis, fibro, gastroenteritis, and chronic pain. the mental health issues I suffer from are major depression (severe and recurrent) ,P.T.S.D ,Suicidal idealization . A lot of my emotional things are from abuse I have taken through out my life and physical are most hereditary. I am now learning to live and understand them but I find that they are connected in all ways (physical and mental). I control alot of my pain and my emotional by controlling stress by not letting things upset me because then it depresses me and my pain increases and sometimes I end up getting sick (throwing up). I know deep down I want to cry, hide , scream at times and just crawl in a corner  and die. I now find that there is more to life than letting all these things to control me because I am in control. My body is not in charge and you should not let your body control you. We are strong inside it is just a matter if we choose to let these things control us. Our  bodies sometimes can abuse us as much as anyone else. So lets take back control of our bodies and do not let it win and take us out of living. There are ways to live and be ourselves again we just need to support one another positively and encourage good health practices. The more positive the better we feel about  ourselves and then we WIN and our bodies and mind LOSES. I want to be a winner and I pose a question do you? Lets stand up together and lets all be winners.I hug you all.I hope I gave you some inspiration to be healthier for you and everyone around you.

Pen Pal exchange contest

Pen Pal exchange contest 

I think by me starting this little contest and offer a prize of something I have made would be a way of making new friends and having something fun to do this summer. 

The Official Rules:

1. can only be a post card with pics of where you are from sent to others.

2. no abusive,harassing, negative writing, no sexual content

3. positive and friendship writing only

4. this starts on June 22,2013 to September 30th, 2013

5. please be honest when submitting pictures of the cards received.

please submit all of them to www.facebook.com/wishing for dreams

I know I am putting myself out there but I think if there were more people being nice to each other and sharing their world with others maybe this place world would not seem so harsh and full of hate. I know there are good people out there and I know more than one person is more powerful than none. Let's have this summer and make friends and show the world there is love and peace out there we just need to find it and nurture it. We need to show the children of the world love and hoe rather than hate and hurt. I love people and I have hope maybe making friends will be a step in the right direction.

 

 

craft idea of the day

                             My Craft of the day

Today I have an idea of making my own design of a rosary with the sea shells I collected with my family from the beach the other day. I will post pics of it when I finish.
I am going to use a small spiral snail shell for where the pic of Mary is. I am going to use a sand dollar and place the cross on the back side of it. I am going to use as many shells to represent the prayers on the rosary. I think it will  take me roughly a few days to make it with bending the connectors in position. I have faith in myself like we  have in the creator above.
Here's a video to maybe help you in making your own rosary. I have been using a kit I found at Wal- Mart. I think it is important to create something that means something to you and make it your own. The only thing that stops you from doing what ideas are your head is you.

Family love is stronger than all the money in the world

Family

Family no matter how you say it is important. If we actually think about it we are all family in someway. We are born into a family then we marry into another and we create great friendships and they become like family. So the saying ,"Ohana means family (in Hawaii)and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." I think this holds true though family should never leave someone behind just because they have gone down a different path as you  or forget them just because they did not live up to your standards.

No one in the world is perfect. We were created to learn from choices we make. It makes no sense to when people judge others by their sex,race,religion,or even where they come from. You know that just because someone has money doesn't make him any better than the poorest person just because all he has to show for his life is love. Love is a powerful thing it holds everything together such as families and friends. Money is nice but it doesn't necessarily make the world go round yeah it is nice to have but I would rather be poorer than poor and have just love to survive on because it can make it through anything. Money destroys so many things in life and it is like some do not see it. It can destroy families and friends and even your life. I feel so rich having the love of family and friends especially from the friends I haven't met in person that I have made through facebook.

You know sharing your talents and sharing your love can make you feel so rich in so many ways. It doesn't cost a cent except telling or even showing someone you love them and are thinking about the always. I think making a person smile  can warm up the coldest heart who has forgotten even they need love. We should not forget how to love because we would be living a very lonely life of misery. Everyone needs love and understanding.

"Smile and the world smiles with you."------Sir Richard Branson

 

Louis Armstrong When You're Smiling (The Whole World Smiles With You) [1958 Single Version] Lyrics

Send "When You're Smiling (The Whole World Smiles With You) [1958 Single Version]" Ringtone to your Cell

Songwriters: Goodwin, Joe / Shay, Larry / Fisher, Mark

Oh, when you're smilin', when you're smilin'
The whole world smiles with you
Yes, when you're laughin', oh, when you're laughin'
Yeah, the sun comes shinin' through

But when you're cryin,' you bring on the rain
So stop your sighin' baby and be happy again
Yes and keep on smilin,' keep on smilin'
And the whole world smiles with you

I found this song to be inspirational and uplifting .It also goes with my statement at the end of my blog.

Pen Pals help in many ways

I think that pen pals can help every walk of life whether you want to make a friend or even learn about new places. It is also good because then the postal workers have things to deliver and might be able to keep their jobs if more people began to write hand written letters.

I think that hand written letters is a lost art because when you are writing to someone you are sharing the emotions through the stroke of the pen to paper. A email is nice but it is being written on something that has no feelings and makes it hard to really express emotion when you type it on the internet. It maybe quicker,  easier and convenient to do. What happens if we ever lost this technology and we had to back to writing on paper with a pen. It seems the more people use the internet for everything the more people kinda do lose there jobs and forget some of the basic things some of us had to learn hands on. I feel sorry some times because we forget the older generation loves getting mail because alot of them do not like the coldness of a computer or do not know how to use one. They feel less alone just like if you are in the military you would rather get a care package from home because it can be more personalized than if you just sent an email to say it in a way they can hold and feel the emotions you are trying to send to cheer them up and make them feel less lonely why they are away.  Sometimes a simple letter or card can make each day seem brighter. You can save them easier and treasure them longer because you don' have to worry about a virus damaging your computer or whatever kind of technological device you have. You do not have to worry if you lose power or even worry about remember passwords or anything of the sort. 

I feel sorry for our children now looking at the they are forgetting how to sit down and write a letter to someone. They would rather text,email or message someone on a website. I think if we lost technology they would be lost if they had to use something like a card catalog at a library in order to find information on anything or even just simply read a book.  We need to encourage the youth to become pen pals in order  to help keep the tradition of writing letters and sending them to make someones day. Who knows they could learn new things from people from other places. I know for myself if I can make friends by writing letters to help me out of my depression then maybe I can help brighten their day as well. There is so many things that being a pen pal can do for all of us in the world. So look for ways to become a pen pal, mentor or even just someone to care about someone else. All it costs really is the price of an envelope and stamp. Just doing this would make the world of difference to people to not feel alone out there and keep our children from not knowing the joy of putting the emotions they feel on paper through a pen. There are many groups on facebook for pen pals. you do have to be cautious who you chose to write to so pick a secure group or site when choosing.

Beauty of Creativity

 I know I am different from people I find my inspiration from what is around me. I am unique and so are you. We all have passion and creativity is beauty in itself.I love inspiring people to stand up and show what they can do no matter what anyone thinks. We all deserve a moment in the spot light. these are two of the embroidery patterns I did and made up myself. I try not using patterns from others because I want to be different. I want to be one of a kind. When you are one of a kind you shine in your own way and no one can block your shining moment in your mind. People appreciate seeing uniqueness of peoples creativity. We all have an inner voice and a mind that has so much to offer in ideas how to make the world a more beautiful place. I think though simplicity in things are better than what is being created now because they are complicated and really take away what we have been given by our creator gave us. We have been destroyed almost all the natural creativity from mother nature to make room for our civilization to live. Then some has been destroyed by mother nature herself too. But we need to preserve all the natural creativity in the world and be proud we can share it with each other. We have all had an inner strength to create something out of nothing and share it with the world. So stand up and share the beauty within. WE NEED TO BE STRONG TO SHOW OURSELVES AND OUR CREATIVITY SPIRIT WITHIN. So go out and enjoy everyone and their creativity. Also share yours with the world no matter if someone puts it  down or not because we are entitled to our opinion. But atleast you were proud enough to share yourself with the world around you.

Family Fun on the beach

The day I spent in the sun with my family
I think spending time with family is important no matter what. Sometimes you need to compromise in order to be able o spend time with your children if you are in a situation that someone else is raising them whether it is relatives that you have a hard time with or others too. I was so happy to spend the afternoon walking the beach,talking,finding shells and enjoying see the smiles on my teenagers faces. 
I may have a hard time with my mom but I put my differences aside since my children wanted to be with me and walk in the sun on the beach. I know from being a teen that they are temperamental and you cherish the times they want to be with you.
I love sharing the moments I found happy with my children. I will share more amazing moments with my two teenage children. Luke is 13 1/2 and my daughter Tabitha is 15 yrs old. They are my world and mean so much. I mean children even when we were kids thought our parents aren't cool to hang with and do not want to be seen with you. You all need to hold and cherish every moment with your children no matter what the age or circumstances surrounding them. Every child needs to know they are loved no matter what they do or mistakes they make. They all need reassurance at times to know someone is gonna help them no matter what. Be the first one to make a move to show them that they are important and you will help them and show them a way to learn from their problems and mistakes. You need to make sure they know no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes it is just  how someone chooses to do with the lessons learned.
 I know it is hard to let go and let our children fall but that's how they learn. But we need to be around in order to show them how to learn from what they did and tell them it is okay. Forgiveness is a big thing in life no matter the age you are but sometimes you have to forgive someone before they can forgive you. Also remember to forgive yourself is important and hard to do.
Lets enjoy life this summer whether it is at home or on a beach somewhere.

Children are our future lets show them the true meaning of love by loving ourselves and everyone around us.

pictures taken Baview Beach Saco, Maine Usa on june 2nd 2013